
So much for a day off! We had plans on spending time as a family, visiting a children’s museum in Milwaukee, maybe just hanging around home… well, sometimes the best laid plans…
My day began at 6:45am with my 4yr old standing at my bedside, informing me that, “mommy needs you to come downstairs right now.” Sensing there was more to this than the usual, ” it’s time to wake up, daddy,” I headed downstairs to find my distraught wife sitting next to our two year old on the couch.
Our two year old, laying in the recovery position, in the midst of a seizure. Limbs twitching, eyes partially open, foam on her lips… my princess!
She had a fever the night before. What was happening? Jen stayed with Hattie while I called 911. Within minutes, a police officer arrived, followed by local rescue. Hattie had stopped seizing by the time the EMTs arrived & they took her to the ambulance outside. As an added precaution, a paramedic unit arrived as they waited in the ambulance…and waited…and waited… Ok, based on my years as a firefighter, I knew that once the patient was loaded, they usually wouldn’t roll until the patient was as stable as possible and secured for transport. The fact that the EMTs and paramedics seemed to sit there, across the street, for what seemed an ETERNITY was driving me crazy! Why aren’t you rolling? Did she seize again? Are her vitals crashing? All these thoughts, flying through my head as I watched through our front room window.
Helpless.
Within minutes, the paramedics went back to their rig and the local rescue squad pulled away. No rush, no siren… a good thing?
Turns out Hattie suffered a febrile seizure, a fairly common condition in 2-6yr olds, usually triggered by a sudden high fever. No lasting effects, and kids grow out of it. Loved one article I read about it, stating that it’s “usually scariest for the parents, who think their child is dying.”
I remember before I met Jen, weighing the pros & cons of marrying, well, anyone. On my own, there was just me to worry about. If something happened to me, sure my family & friends would be affected, but I didn’t intentionally bring another person into the picture. I had had my cancer scare… what if it came back? maybe I’d be better on my own…
But I took that chance, and 11 years later, I’m married to my best friend. A joy I would never have experienced had I not looked past the many “what ifs” to see the treasure found within the risk of bringing someone in.
Kids were a different story.
We had waited seven years before deciding we’d never truly be “ready” for children. For me, the “what ifs” returned. Sure, I’d be devastated if something happened to Jen, but could I survive anything happening to a child of mine?
But then came Olivia, followed by Hattie two years later. Sure, there’s the challenges of raising a young family, but the joys vastly outweigh kowtowing to the “what ifs.” And what a lack of faith on my part! Sure, I’d trust in God’s protection and provision for myself, even my wife, but that trust stops when when my children enter the picture? I’m such a dork! Having seen God’s hand in my family’s lives over the years, how could I doubt He’d continue to be there, loving my kids more than I ever could.
Things could have ended much differently last Thursday, and God would’ve sustained me through whatever may have come. However, this morning, Hattie gave me a huge hug as I left for work, accompanied by an, “I love you, daddy” (in her best two-year-old speak). Definitely worth the risk!
Lord, thank you for my family, that my daughters are home, and that we’re never truly helpless when our help comes from You.
“I will not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let you down (relax my hold on you)! Assuredly not!” Hebrews 13:5 AMP
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